👉If you have a never-ending to-do list and numerous responsibilities, you might tend to overextend yourself, constantly seek approval from others, and neglect your own needs. 👈
Although you may receive positive feedback for doing and being everything to everyone, having a lack of boundaries can lead to burnout. 💣
As a success coach and educational leader, I have seen firsthand how having personal boundaries can lead to success, and how a lack of them can leave someone stuck and overwhelmed.
Boundaries are like a line you draw in the sand of what you are and are not willing to allow, giving you authority over your own life. If you don’t make your limits known, it can lead to situations where you may end up feeling undervalued, drained, and taken advantage of. Setting healthy boundaries is essential as they help us preserve our personal space, self-worth, skills, time, and relationships.
Here are four powerful questions successful women ask themselves to help them form their boundaries:
QUESTION # 1. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME?
Clarify what is important to you, and let others know what should be respected. Treat your values as non-negotiables. For instance, you might dedicate time to spending with loved ones or pursuing personal interests, like painting or reading.
✔️ BOUNDARY TIP: Make a list of what's important to you and review it daily to assess how well you're holding onto your values. Be clear with those around you about your priorities, such as by saying, "I'd like to grab a drink with you after work, but I usually spend evenings with my family until the kids go to bed."
QUESTION # 2. DOES THIS REQUEST BELONG TO ME?
Before saying yes to someone else’s request, make sure it aligns with your goals. If you tend to prioritize pleasing others, it's possible that you often feel disappointed when your expectations aren't met. It's important to set boundaries and avoid taking on tasks that aren't yours to handle, as this can lead to added stress and overwhelm.
✔️ BOUNDARY TIP: A good way to gauge whether a task is worth taking on is to consider how it aligns with your goals and responsibilities. If it doesn't fit, it's okay to decline and suggest someone else who may be better suited. Before agreeing, ask yourself if taking on the task means sacrificing other important commitments.
QUESTION #3. SHOULD I JUST WALK AWAY?
If someone is being stubborn, angry or manipulative, it may be better to walk away and let the emotions settle. It's important to understand that collaboration is not always possible when dealing with stubborn, angry, or manipulative individuals. In such cases, it may be necessary to step back and allow emotions to cool down. It's crucial to be careful of manipulators who twist reality to control their victims. When someone engages in gaslighting behavior, they may try to make you doubt your memories and perceptions. In such situations, it's best to walk away and maintain your boundaries.
✔️ BOUNDARY TIP: You can let them know that you are not in a position to respond at the moment and will get back to them later. Another option is to suggest taking some time to reassess the situation and regroup at a later time.
QUESTION #4: IS DONE BETTER THAN PERFECT?
Don’t let perfectionism take over. When the project meets your goals, launch it. Perfectionism can be detrimental to both your career and happiness. When we become too focused on achieving perfection, we tend to detach ourselves from our relationships with colleagues and overwork on projects such as documents, presentations, pitches, and plans. It's common to think that making something a little better can make all the difference, but that's not necessarily true.
✔️ BOUNDARY TIP: Ask yourself if the item you're working on meets your initial goals. If it does, it's time to launch it. Remember, imperfect action is better than no action.
Remember that boundary-setting is an ongoing process. It's not a one-and-done task, but rather something you need to continually evaluate and adjust as your priorities and circumstances change. Keep checking in with yourself and reassessing your boundaries to ensure you're staying aligned with your goals and values.
As always, I LOVE hearing from you… what are you taking from today’s post? Comment below or email me at email@example.com.